i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
