Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
