Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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