Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
