Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
