My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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