I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
