i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
