My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Its about making memories worth repressing
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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