And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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