If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
