mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
