I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
