i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So apparently I’m into choking now
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
