it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
