Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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