So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
