you would pick up someone in the library
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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