Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
