I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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