if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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