I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
