if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
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so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
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I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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