The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
