Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize