saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
