shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
