I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
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