i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
