Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
