Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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