I've blown a few things in my day
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
