I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
