You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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