i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
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She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
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I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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