I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
