i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
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I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
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I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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