I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
