Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
