the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
