Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize