dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
