I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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