: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.