We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.