VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
