So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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