i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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