I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize