I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
