I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
