the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
How's work?
Spinning.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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