Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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