Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.