The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.