He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize