Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
