i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
